Dear K, I have always loved you, and you know that.
Ever since I was sixteen years old, when we laid under the trees, learning and growing in love.
I have tried to let you go and find someone that moves me more than you, but no one can beat the way you make me feel. Being around you lifts me up - not only do I feel sixteen again, but you make me feel like I couldn’t be anyone better but the person I am when I am with you.
You live there, and I live here, which is why it has never worked.
I would have followed you always, and you knew that, but... I am scared.
I’m scared of how much I love you, I am scared that you are the person I am in love with, I am scared you don’t love me as much as I love you, I am scared you are going to hurt me again and again, and I am scared of what it means to be trying with you.
I wish we could go back under the trees when we were teenage kids, I wish life wasn’t complicated, I wish we could fall into sweet, all-consuming love and I wouldn’t be scared of the past six years and how much you can move me.
You are heaven - I see my whole life with you.
But are you simply a fantasy? Maybe that’s why I am scared.